Between the hot, dry desert air and the frequent moral ambiguity of my occupation grinding away at my soul, I feel as if any day now I may turn to dust and blow away. While the current clientele are considerably less reprehensible than the former, they still leave me with little doubt that they peddle death, despair and slavery, while charging you a premium for it.
The small part I play is in the business of making you think you actually like and need what they offer, and like them as corporate persons. While I'm just a nut in the destruction machine, I'm still a part of the machine and I can't figure out how to lie to myself into believing it's all good.
Mother nature must be feeling my agony, it's rained for several days now. A
very unusual occurrence for this time of year here, I'm really grateful for some relief. Having worked myself into this uncomfortable corner, I enter the lower world (subconscious if you like) to see if there are any good and workable alternatives to my current situation that don't involve homelessness or criminality.
After the long journey down, I find myself in a long hallway with glass partitions on either side holding back what appears to be an ocean of water. This leaves me confused and trying desperately to understand. Unfortunately, I'm kind of thick and these subtle references from the subconscious land on the brick wall that is my mind like so many insects on a speeding car's windshield.
Before I reached the end of the hall something must have given way, because I was suddenly assaulted by a wall of water. Had I been a being of flesh the onslaught surely would have torn me limb from limb. I swam up and soon was floating on a vast, dark sea, apparently headed somewhere with the current.
Nothing was visible but water. It was as if I were out in the middle of the ocean. Every horizon fell off into oblivion with nothing, not even a scrap of debris altered the scenery.
The waves took me under into another deep hole and I came out again to find land. It was beautiful here, lush, thick with vegetation, and animal life. I was approached by a mountain lion, who stalked out of the forest in my direction. This is my companion, so it was not a surprise.
When I say companion I mean that when I was a very small child, maybe three years old, I was left alone in a vehicle while my mother and father went inside to buy something at a gas station. In the short time I was alone a mountain lion came up to the car to have a look at me through the window. He stayed for quite a while, terrifying my parents. I may have looked like a nice meal. Nonetheless, this creature has been my companion since I was small and remains to this day. Somehow I relate to it.
Generally, in more recent years, the creature will challenge me when we meet in the lower world. It's a test of wills I suppose. We fight, neither of us seem to understand why. On this occasion, however, we simply ran together. It was like the old days, empowering and felt wonderful.
This experience did nothing to help me with the issues that are grinding away at me. There answer is probably there, but I'm too mentally clumsy to catch it.
To add a bit of synchronicity to the repeated references to water, apparently you will in a few years have privatized water, barring unforeseen emergencies. This applies worldwide. It's the plan, beginning with a few pilot programs, which are already underway. Once they show great success with the pilot programs, they can move onto bigger projects.
Water is being sold too cheaply, according to the would-be privatizers. They want "fair" pricing for water and they want to be able to make a large profit on it.. If the program is sold properly you'll be begging them to privatize your water, rather than having it state-run. Perception trumps reality.
